Brei

Watch out Steph!

Hilarious?

This is hilarious. Or is it just me?

Wanted: One film with an ending please. Must have own internal coherence.

So I just saw Wanted and I have to say it wasn't what I expected. Okay that's a lie; all I really expected was Angelina Jolie to get naked at some point and that box remains thoroughly ticked. I'm still left a bit wanting though (and not just for Angelina Jolie).

Wanted is a film about a guy who is picked up out of his ordinary humdrum life and firmly plonked in the middle of an assassin war. So far, so good. But the first twenty minutes of the film are just a slightly less funny version of Office Space, and whilst the middle section contains the obligatory, and in this case reasonably entertaining, training sequence I do find it stretching the bounds of probability that one can go from loser to best assassin in the world inside six weeks.

However, the fun doesn't stop there. They bend bullets, and I don't mean in a "With the power of my mind", Uri Geller kind of way; I mean they can put spin on the trajectory of a bullet that quite frankly puts most high-class spin bowlers to shame. Monty Panesar's got nothing on Angelina Jolie who can apparently put so much spin on her bullets that whilst standing on the edge of a circular room she can shoot herself in the right temple by aiming left.

All this is small potatoes compared to the fact that they get their Assassination orders from a loom, interpreted using (as far as I can tell) some weird combination of binary and ASCII codes. From fate, to the loom, to Morgan Freeman (whom as we all know, is actually God anyway). And lets not even get into the whole "Our bullets collide in mid-air when we shoot each other!" or the "Your heart can beat at over 400 times a minute, whence your magical assassin powers!" aspects of the film.

The ending is what really ruined this for me though. I could overlook all the above if the ending was good, but my god was it pisspoor. Essentially Angelina does all the hard work and then we get some semi-philisophical whine about taking control of your own life - via the means of a mystical loom? I was certainly confused.

In short (and remember I've read more sci-fi/fantasy than you can shake a stick at), this film requires too great a level of suspension of disbelief, has weird Oedipal overtones and the ending sucks. Angelina's still fit though.

The adventure begins!

These are the rules of the blog:

Rule #1: There is no blog.
Rule #2: No poofters!
Rule #3: No names.
Rule #4: No poofters!
Rule #5: There is no rule 5
Rule #6: No poofters!

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We selected rooms today. I did surprisingly well. Number 6 did less well having been relegated to the sheds. There were rumours of some argy-bargy between Chuck and Boozy about the room ballot, but these were swiftly quashed. After an emergency negotiation session (in the bar) all was well. Unfortunately the Engineer was too busy getting his yearly dose of culture, but he was probably too drunk to remember what it was.

In other news, project choices are in with me and Armstrong on the same project! Unfortunately Supervisors #1 and #2 were not present for this joyous occasion; hopefully not a trend that will continue.

And finally, Eden is graduating at the end of this year marking the end of an era. Fortunately, Durham will be graced with his presence next year; although whether the Inland Revenue is aware of this fact is a different matter.

One small thing the reader may want to be aware of is that we are limiting the number of posts* we are making in order to avoid the inevitable "post war".

*Actual numbers may vary.